Now that all of the fake success stories have been discovered and confirmed by scores of people across the internet, I see everyone at LowCarbFriends (which I refuse to link) is all abuzz with the information. But I can't help but grumble over the fact that all of this could have been stopped over a year ago when myself and others tried to discuss Kimkins' fake Success Stories photos - and LCF admins promptly shut us up by deleting our threads!!! I remember one thread I put up asking innocently, "do these pictures just not look right to anyone else?" and it was gone within minutes. After that, everything I put up was SANITIZED by the admins, meaning, they EDITED my posts and took out anything I said that referred to Kimmer. And of course, their idiotic policy is to not allow you to discuss their actions on the board, so if you questioned it, they'd delete that too. That's when I closed my account there and vowed never to return. It's so ironic that NOW they decide its okay to slam Kimkins.
Think about all of the people that could have been saved from Kimmer, had LCF not gone through so much trouble to protect her. I hold them just as responsible for this fiasco as Kimmer. And this was BEFORE the WW cover, so had they allowed people to even question the legitimacy of her diet and her website, thousands of people could have been warned and who knows, maybe she would have even gotten the cover and we wouldn't be here now. But they protected her and HID all evidence against her. They didn't care that she was a fraud, had no medical background, and no proof of her claims, they just didn't want anyone to speak ill of her. Why is that??? What was the connection between Tom and Heidi? What agreement did she default on that caused him to go up against her?
You really have to wonder WHY. Were they sharing profits? Hoping to share profits? Did Kimmer turn them down for advertising revenue and it pissed off Tom so he decided to turn against her? Something definitely happened and we'll probably never know the truth, but LCF is just as guilty and dirty in this as Heidi is. And we all know it.
Luckily, ALC is an awesome balanced message board without Gestapo admin censoring our every word, so people who wanted integrity and freedom went there - and found it was refreshing and FAIR. I so appreciate the management and administration THERE and that's where I encourage people to go, as well as any of the other LC boards in my sidebar. Anywhere BUT LCF, because when this is over, they'll still be censoring your speech, and who needs that?
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Sweet Validation!
Validation is a beautiful thing, isn't it?
(Links copied from http://www.kimkinsexposed.wordpress.com - forgive me, Ducky, I couldn't wait to get off work to post this so I borrowed yours! :) And thanks!)
What a way to wake up! An actual LIVE video of the infamous Heidi Diaz, who we know as Kimmer, and her VOICE, on film. She couldn't seem to put together the $32 to purchase a web camera of her own, so Chip Yost of station KTLA in Los Angeles, decided to help her out and put her on camera. How amazing was it that this was the same woman in the Slamboard surveillance photos (that people claimed was a "paid" actress), and the same voice from the Jimmy Moore podcasts, also the same voice confirmed by Christin that she heard on the telephone? Does Kimmer still want to claim that she and Heidi are two different people? Seriously, at this point, does ANYONE still believe her? SingingAss? Tipsy? Is she still your hero? Or do you need that little bit of money from her THAT bad that you'll continue to sell your soul to do her bidding?
I encourage all AntiKimkins bloggers and website owners to post the link to the broadcast, let's help it spread across the internet like wildfire! Send the link to your local news stations, newspapers, radio stations, everyone you can think of that might want to pick up the baton and carry on this story. Chip has done a wonderful job here and we are so grateful and thankful that someone finally recognized the need for justice here. I'd like to see more in depth investigations done now - we really want to know WHO is Heidi Diaz? Her family claims she has a history of committing similar scams and that she has done jail time - can we get mug shots? Can we find out exactly what her criminal record consists of?
Keep sending complaints to Paypal - send them the link to the video also! They need to know that this woman is committing a crime and using their services to facilitate it. We want them to freeze her account so that what's left can be used to refund all of her victims! She's probably trying to spend as much of it as possible but that's okay, that's just more stuff for the Sheriff to auction when they show up to collect on the judgements!
I also found it interesting that the PI reports that Brandon's friends meet him down the street - as I have always firmly believed that he is deeply involved in his mother's fraud. There's no way he can live there, know she has no job and no money, but she pops up with new cars, offers to pay him to work on her website, yet he has no clue? Please. I believe he has been helping her with it since Catherine left, and he is possibly the one who doctored the Success Stories photos since he fancies himself a Photoshop expert. Why else would he not allow his friends near the apartment? Since he was made aware of her fraud, why hasn't he attempted to defend her? In all of his responses, he never once uttered any word of defense or confirmation that his mother was indeed the woman in the red dress - or any of the other photos she's displayed. Anyway, I'm not interested in prosecuting him because he has a wildebeest for mom and I'm sure he's afraid of her, and I believe the law protects him from having to testify against her once this goes to court, but I just wanted to put out there that I don't believe for one minute that he's unaware. At any rate, he'll certainly be aware when she's being led away in handcuffs!
To all of the people who thought we were just jealous haters (lol), trust that no one is jealous of Heidi Diaz now! Her life is about to become sheer hell, and you know what, she deserves it. I wish I had the beautiful, spiritual heart that Christin, Deni and Becky have, as they continue to urge people to pray for her and understanding. Sorry, I'll pray for her victims, but I just want to see her go DOWN in flames! No, second thought, I will pray for Heidi - I'll pray that her cellmate in prison is bigger and meaner than she is - and I hope she takes a special liking to Heidi!
For details on the stakeout by Robert Charlton, the Private Investigator who blessed us with the revealing pictures, please go to his blog and read about his time spent watching Heidi Kimberly Diaz.
Stay tuned, guys, its not over. There's so much more to come!
UPDATE: The television clip is now on YouTube! Please, everyone, go there and watch it again! And again! And again!! Even if you've already seen it, watch it again, and here's why: the top watched videos on YouTube get high ranking and even end up on their front page, meaning MORE people will see it when they come to the YouTube site. People who have no idea who Kimmer or Heidi is, and know nothing about Kimkins, but they will see this video if we push up the rankings! Not only that, news stations are always featuring the wildest videos on YouTube - shows like Best Week Ever and a few others specialize in this. So let's get this video LOTS of views so it will help spread all over the world! Maybe someone will come forward with some more startling Heidi/Kimmer news!
WATCH Kimkins on LIVE Television!.
(Links copied from http://www.kimkinsexposed.wordpress.com - forgive me, Ducky, I couldn't wait to get off work to post this so I borrowed yours! :) And thanks!)
What a way to wake up! An actual LIVE video of the infamous Heidi Diaz, who we know as Kimmer, and her VOICE, on film. She couldn't seem to put together the $32 to purchase a web camera of her own, so Chip Yost of station KTLA in Los Angeles, decided to help her out and put her on camera. How amazing was it that this was the same woman in the Slamboard surveillance photos (that people claimed was a "paid" actress), and the same voice from the Jimmy Moore podcasts, also the same voice confirmed by Christin that she heard on the telephone? Does Kimmer still want to claim that she and Heidi are two different people? Seriously, at this point, does ANYONE still believe her? SingingAss? Tipsy? Is she still your hero? Or do you need that little bit of money from her THAT bad that you'll continue to sell your soul to do her bidding?
I encourage all AntiKimkins bloggers and website owners to post the link to the broadcast, let's help it spread across the internet like wildfire! Send the link to your local news stations, newspapers, radio stations, everyone you can think of that might want to pick up the baton and carry on this story. Chip has done a wonderful job here and we are so grateful and thankful that someone finally recognized the need for justice here. I'd like to see more in depth investigations done now - we really want to know WHO is Heidi Diaz? Her family claims she has a history of committing similar scams and that she has done jail time - can we get mug shots? Can we find out exactly what her criminal record consists of?
Keep sending complaints to Paypal - send them the link to the video also! They need to know that this woman is committing a crime and using their services to facilitate it. We want them to freeze her account so that what's left can be used to refund all of her victims! She's probably trying to spend as much of it as possible but that's okay, that's just more stuff for the Sheriff to auction when they show up to collect on the judgements!
I also found it interesting that the PI reports that Brandon's friends meet him down the street - as I have always firmly believed that he is deeply involved in his mother's fraud. There's no way he can live there, know she has no job and no money, but she pops up with new cars, offers to pay him to work on her website, yet he has no clue? Please. I believe he has been helping her with it since Catherine left, and he is possibly the one who doctored the Success Stories photos since he fancies himself a Photoshop expert. Why else would he not allow his friends near the apartment? Since he was made aware of her fraud, why hasn't he attempted to defend her? In all of his responses, he never once uttered any word of defense or confirmation that his mother was indeed the woman in the red dress - or any of the other photos she's displayed. Anyway, I'm not interested in prosecuting him because he has a wildebeest for mom and I'm sure he's afraid of her, and I believe the law protects him from having to testify against her once this goes to court, but I just wanted to put out there that I don't believe for one minute that he's unaware. At any rate, he'll certainly be aware when she's being led away in handcuffs!
To all of the people who thought we were just jealous haters (lol), trust that no one is jealous of Heidi Diaz now! Her life is about to become sheer hell, and you know what, she deserves it. I wish I had the beautiful, spiritual heart that Christin, Deni and Becky have, as they continue to urge people to pray for her and understanding. Sorry, I'll pray for her victims, but I just want to see her go DOWN in flames! No, second thought, I will pray for Heidi - I'll pray that her cellmate in prison is bigger and meaner than she is - and I hope she takes a special liking to Heidi!
For details on the stakeout by Robert Charlton, the Private Investigator who blessed us with the revealing pictures, please go to his blog and read about his time spent watching Heidi Kimberly Diaz.
Stay tuned, guys, its not over. There's so much more to come!
UPDATE: The television clip is now on YouTube! Please, everyone, go there and watch it again! And again! And again!! Even if you've already seen it, watch it again, and here's why: the top watched videos on YouTube get high ranking and even end up on their front page, meaning MORE people will see it when they come to the YouTube site. People who have no idea who Kimmer or Heidi is, and know nothing about Kimkins, but they will see this video if we push up the rankings! Not only that, news stations are always featuring the wildest videos on YouTube - shows like Best Week Ever and a few others specialize in this. So let's get this video LOTS of views so it will help spread all over the world! Maybe someone will come forward with some more startling Heidi/Kimmer news!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Things To Do With $60 Instead of Buying a Kimkins Membership
What will $60 buy you at Kimkins.com? Anorexia, starvation, hair loss, dizziness, nausea, muscle loss, and thyroid destruction. Oh, and some snarkiness, disrespect and condescension by the 300+ pound diet guru named Heidi Diaz aka Kimmer.
Or, you can take that same $60 and...
...buy some FOOD! Some healthy low carb choices like lean turkey, 100% whole wheat bread, veggies, berries, plain whole milk yogurt with your choice of SF Davinci syrups, well, you get the picture!
...get a DDR video game and dance pad and have a great time dancing - you won't even know you're really working out!
...pick up a new pair of GOOD walking shoes, not the cheapie sale ones that tear up after a few miles, but a GOOD pair with gel insoles and feel like you're walking on clouds.
...test drive a new mp3 player - or toss that walkman and get your very first one! These have dropped so drastically in price that you can get a 1 gig player for under $40 then use the other $20 at iTunes for some music, or borrow from all of your friends that bought one way before you did, lol. Or, you could hit up some of those Russian websites that sell downloads for .10 each because they have different copyright laws than the US and its totally legal, but you didn't hear that from ME! I'm not responsible for what you search and find in Google when you type in Russian mp3 downloads.
...take a friend or two to the zoo for the day. That's a workout in itself just spending the day walking around looking at the animals, especially if their cages are miles apart like they are at most zoos! By the time you've seen three animals, you're out of breath! Plus admission is like a week's worth of gas, so call up a couple of folks, pack a lunch with plenty of water bottles, and take off for the day.
...buy some of the latest diet books - even though I'm mostly low carb, I like to pick and choose components from other diets and work them into my way of life. It's always fun to read what else is out there and see how it can apply to me, or if it just makes me laugh until I snort Diet Rite through my nose. Some good ones new to the market are, No Excuses! Fitness Workout by Celebrity Fit Club's Harvey Walden (he's probably much less scary in a book), The Best Life Diet, by Bob Greene (Oprah's trainer), and Making the Cut: The 30-Day Diet and Fitness Plan for the Strongest, Sexiest You, by The Biggest Loser's Jillian Michaels.
...indulge in some Chocoperfection bars! $60 will get you about 24 bars of pure heaven. Melt it, pour it over some low carb ice cream or mix it in some plain yogurt for a chocolate treat, or do like me, I eat squares of it in one hand with almonds in the other.
...do the obvious - donate it to charity! I mean, if you've got $60 to throw away because you really don't need it - I like to give to charities where I really see what is being done with the money. Around Christmas, many local churches will be putting together holiday boxes, or you can go to a department store and buy at least two good kid's winter coats and drop them off at a Coats for Kids donation spot, or your company may be adopting a family. Either way, you will feel good about that $60, unlike having Heidi lock out your access to her stinky little site because you asked her if she had any recent pictures.
Those are just a few ideas off the top of my head, but I'm sure you can think of more things to do with that money other than give it a scam artist!
Or, you can take that same $60 and...
...buy some FOOD! Some healthy low carb choices like lean turkey, 100% whole wheat bread, veggies, berries, plain whole milk yogurt with your choice of SF Davinci syrups, well, you get the picture!
...get a DDR video game and dance pad and have a great time dancing - you won't even know you're really working out!
...pick up a new pair of GOOD walking shoes, not the cheapie sale ones that tear up after a few miles, but a GOOD pair with gel insoles and feel like you're walking on clouds.
...test drive a new mp3 player - or toss that walkman and get your very first one! These have dropped so drastically in price that you can get a 1 gig player for under $40 then use the other $20 at iTunes for some music, or borrow from all of your friends that bought one way before you did, lol. Or, you could hit up some of those Russian websites that sell downloads for .10 each because they have different copyright laws than the US and its totally legal, but you didn't hear that from ME! I'm not responsible for what you search and find in Google when you type in Russian mp3 downloads.
...take a friend or two to the zoo for the day. That's a workout in itself just spending the day walking around looking at the animals, especially if their cages are miles apart like they are at most zoos! By the time you've seen three animals, you're out of breath! Plus admission is like a week's worth of gas, so call up a couple of folks, pack a lunch with plenty of water bottles, and take off for the day.
...buy some of the latest diet books - even though I'm mostly low carb, I like to pick and choose components from other diets and work them into my way of life. It's always fun to read what else is out there and see how it can apply to me, or if it just makes me laugh until I snort Diet Rite through my nose. Some good ones new to the market are, No Excuses! Fitness Workout by Celebrity Fit Club's Harvey Walden (he's probably much less scary in a book), The Best Life Diet, by Bob Greene (Oprah's trainer), and Making the Cut: The 30-Day Diet and Fitness Plan for the Strongest, Sexiest You, by The Biggest Loser's Jillian Michaels.
...indulge in some Chocoperfection bars! $60 will get you about 24 bars of pure heaven. Melt it, pour it over some low carb ice cream or mix it in some plain yogurt for a chocolate treat, or do like me, I eat squares of it in one hand with almonds in the other.
...do the obvious - donate it to charity! I mean, if you've got $60 to throw away because you really don't need it - I like to give to charities where I really see what is being done with the money. Around Christmas, many local churches will be putting together holiday boxes, or you can go to a department store and buy at least two good kid's winter coats and drop them off at a Coats for Kids donation spot, or your company may be adopting a family. Either way, you will feel good about that $60, unlike having Heidi lock out your access to her stinky little site because you asked her if she had any recent pictures.
Those are just a few ideas off the top of my head, but I'm sure you can think of more things to do with that money other than give it a scam artist!
Blogging Tips for the Revolution!
It does my heart good to see so many anti-kimkins bloggers! I swear, we need our own social network!
I wanted to drop some tips about promoting your blog and helping it get as much exposure as possible. I'm no expert but I know a little something about a little something.
Every time you update, make sure to "ping" the services that notify the collective sites that keep track of weblogs and publish them. By doing this, you are letting them know that your blog has been updated and they will crawl and index your blog, publishing the new entries, which help to increase your blog's popularity. Two that I use are Pingoat and >Pingomatic, but they have a lot of the same services and you don't want to ping too much or you may be seen as spam and get blocked - so I would suggest using one or the other, or if one is down, use the other, etc. Or, if you have the time, compare their services and set them up appropriately. I've just never had the time to do this!
Use sites such as digg, StumbleUpon, and Technorati to vote on your own posts. Create an account there and it will only take a couple of clicks each time to vote. Then do a search for other anti-Kimkins items and vote on them also! In fact, again, if you have the time, whenever you find a new anti-kimkins entry, digg it, Stumble it, or Technorati fave it. If we make it a habit to do this often, it will help keep us all at the top of the pile (and pro-Kimkins at the bottom!).
Use FREE site submission tools to submit your blog to the search engines. You will have to confirm and accept many of them in your email, so be prepared for about 30 or more confirmation emails at once but just follow the directions and it will only take a few minutes to get the submission rolling. I use the one I get for free with my web hosting package (for other sites) - if you have other web hosting services, check and see if it offers this in your control panel. Or do a search for FREE site submission services and you'll find many. Remember, you want the FREE one, not the upgraded or advanced packages! I have also used SubmitExpress in the past and it was great.
Most of the blog directories want your blog to be at least 30 days old before it will accept them, and some even require 90 days. But there are many that don't have such a requirement, so you could go down this list of directories at WAHM and submit your link wherever possible.
Comment in other anti-Kimkins blogs such as (this one), KimkinsExposed, KimkinsDangers, KimkinsControversy, all of those in the Blog Rolls of each of the blogs, etc. That helps to spread your link and increase your recognition. There's many of us and our numbers are growing, but try to make it a point to drop a line or two as you read, and leave your link in your comment.
If you have some html knowledge and know how to edit your metatags, add the appropriate keywords to that section to help your search engine rankings. Pssst! This is what Kimmer is using for her Kimkins site:
meta name="description" content="The Kimkins lean low carb plan is simple -- less fat than Atkins, less carbs than South Beach and faster weight loss than Weight Watchers!"
meta name="keywords" content="loose weight,diets to loose weight,loose weight quickly,how to loose weight,loose weight fast,to loose weight,loosing weight,weight gain diets,weight gain tips,weight gaining diets,pregnancy weight gain,healthy weight gain,fast weight gain,fat weight,weight lost,food weight,dieting weight,quick weight,la weight lost,body fat weight,over weight,gaining weight,weight,weight control,healthy weight,weight idiots,diets to gain weight,reduce weight,loose pounds,diets,fat diets,lose 10 pounds,fat loss diets,appetite suppressant,lose 10 pounds fast,ketosis,domino effect, kimmer experiment,OAMC,boot camp,camp kimkins,starvation mode,metabolism"
I suggest using THOSE exactly and adding all of the anti-kimkins words in there too, along with diet fraud, scandal, Heidi Diaz, Kimmer, etc. Whatever else you can think of that an unsuspecting web searcher might type into a search engine. We want them to come to US, not HER!
Post often! Search engines like fresh content. If you never update your site and let weeks and months go by, you'll slowly drop in the rankings. No need to post everyday - unless you want to, but 2-3x weekly or at least weekly would be best. Even bi-weekly is better than monthly or not at all. If you have nothing new to post, then post highlights of what the OTHER anti-Kimkins blogs are talking about. There will ALWAYS be some fresh material between the group of us all! Give a summary of new developments, a reminder of what people can do to help, or give a shoutout to new bloggers, link to the new posts so all of your readers can follow along.
That's all I can think of right now - please comment if you can think of something else we can do to help keep us on top!
I wanted to drop some tips about promoting your blog and helping it get as much exposure as possible. I'm no expert but I know a little something about a little something.
Every time you update, make sure to "ping" the services that notify the collective sites that keep track of weblogs and publish them. By doing this, you are letting them know that your blog has been updated and they will crawl and index your blog, publishing the new entries, which help to increase your blog's popularity. Two that I use are Pingoat and >Pingomatic, but they have a lot of the same services and you don't want to ping too much or you may be seen as spam and get blocked - so I would suggest using one or the other, or if one is down, use the other, etc. Or, if you have the time, compare their services and set them up appropriately. I've just never had the time to do this!
Use sites such as digg, StumbleUpon, and Technorati to vote on your own posts. Create an account there and it will only take a couple of clicks each time to vote. Then do a search for other anti-Kimkins items and vote on them also! In fact, again, if you have the time, whenever you find a new anti-kimkins entry, digg it, Stumble it, or Technorati fave it. If we make it a habit to do this often, it will help keep us all at the top of the pile (and pro-Kimkins at the bottom!).
Use FREE site submission tools to submit your blog to the search engines. You will have to confirm and accept many of them in your email, so be prepared for about 30 or more confirmation emails at once but just follow the directions and it will only take a few minutes to get the submission rolling. I use the one I get for free with my web hosting package (for other sites) - if you have other web hosting services, check and see if it offers this in your control panel. Or do a search for FREE site submission services and you'll find many. Remember, you want the FREE one, not the upgraded or advanced packages! I have also used SubmitExpress in the past and it was great.
Most of the blog directories want your blog to be at least 30 days old before it will accept them, and some even require 90 days. But there are many that don't have such a requirement, so you could go down this list of directories at WAHM and submit your link wherever possible.
Comment in other anti-Kimkins blogs such as (this one), KimkinsExposed, KimkinsDangers, KimkinsControversy, all of those in the Blog Rolls of each of the blogs, etc. That helps to spread your link and increase your recognition. There's many of us and our numbers are growing, but try to make it a point to drop a line or two as you read, and leave your link in your comment.
If you have some html knowledge and know how to edit your metatags, add the appropriate keywords to that section to help your search engine rankings. Pssst! This is what Kimmer is using for her Kimkins site:
meta name="description" content="The Kimkins lean low carb plan is simple -- less fat than Atkins, less carbs than South Beach and faster weight loss than Weight Watchers!"
meta name="keywords" content="loose weight,diets to loose weight,loose weight quickly,how to loose weight,loose weight fast,to loose weight,loosing weight,weight gain diets,weight gain tips,weight gaining diets,pregnancy weight gain,healthy weight gain,fast weight gain,fat weight,weight lost,food weight,dieting weight,quick weight,la weight lost,body fat weight,over weight,gaining weight,weight,weight control,healthy weight,weight idiots,diets to gain weight,reduce weight,loose pounds,diets,fat diets,lose 10 pounds,fat loss diets,appetite suppressant,lose 10 pounds fast,ketosis,domino effect, kimmer experiment,OAMC,boot camp,camp kimkins,starvation mode,metabolism"
I suggest using THOSE exactly and adding all of the anti-kimkins words in there too, along with diet fraud, scandal, Heidi Diaz, Kimmer, etc. Whatever else you can think of that an unsuspecting web searcher might type into a search engine. We want them to come to US, not HER!
Post often! Search engines like fresh content. If you never update your site and let weeks and months go by, you'll slowly drop in the rankings. No need to post everyday - unless you want to, but 2-3x weekly or at least weekly would be best. Even bi-weekly is better than monthly or not at all. If you have nothing new to post, then post highlights of what the OTHER anti-Kimkins blogs are talking about. There will ALWAYS be some fresh material between the group of us all! Give a summary of new developments, a reminder of what people can do to help, or give a shoutout to new bloggers, link to the new posts so all of your readers can follow along.
That's all I can think of right now - please comment if you can think of something else we can do to help keep us on top!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Is sexual abuse the new excuse for being a bitch?
I guess Kimkins new henchwoman, SingingLass, aka Delaney, is so desperate for ANYBODY to love her - even a 320 pound bald disabled sociopath like Heidi/Kimmer/Drake/Diaz, that she will do and say anything that she is told to do. She has had a pretty pathetic life, but its no excuse for her participation in this CRIME and this FRAUD and for shitting on other people because of her past abuse. I felt bad for her until I saw what an evil haranguing attention-whore she has become at the Kimkins site. I say FRY her with Heidi, she goes down! All sympathy is out the window! She has no sympathy for the people whose money she is helping Heidi steal!
This is what she posted about herself on another board:
Hello. I am new here...found this web page a day ago during a post-nightmare, late-night, web search. I am not quite sure what to say-- I am not exactly very accustomed to having anyone to talk to/share these things with--I just have several note books floating around my apartment with garble written in them.
Well, to start, my name is Delaney( sounds like Melanie with a D). I am 27, but have the face of a 19/20 year old, and am a college student still--Theatre and vocal performance(how the heck I will make a living off those is yet to be discovered ::smile: .
I have had a really rough nine months or so. It was about last August when the initial big trigger happened--and I have been struggling to keep my head above water so-to-speak, ever since.
A run down of my history(I hope this does not trigger anyone). During my childhood, starting at age 5, I was abused sexually, physically, emotionally, and neglected for many years. When I was eleven I almost died form a serious/painful medical condition that was left untreated for several months(cyst). I handled the knowledge that I was dying on my own ( no one owuld listen to me, got punched out when PE teacher called my mother), and started to pray to die when I could not cope with the pain anymore--was finally taken in when my mother came home and found me on the floor screaming with my eyes rolled back.
I was raped when I was 14. I guess that does not need much explaining.
I think what has damaged me the most, is not so much all the things I went through--but the withholding of love and support. No one ever told me it was not my fault, or that they loved me. No hugs...nothing. When I was nine and it came out that my step-father was molesting me(he was a cop), instead of protecting me, my mother used me as a shield. She worried what people would think of HER, and that it would ruin HER etc...so she told me a string of stuff along the lines of never telling anyone, that they would hate me, reject me blah blah...and of course I believed her, becuase that was the only reaction I had seen in people anyways. After a while I simply believed it did not matter what happened or was done to me....that I was not worth anything...so I just silently soaked everything in as it came. Thus when I was eleven and I knew I was dying( the pain was described by teh doctors later as being prolly much like having constant labor pains for a couple months), it did not occur to me that anyone should care that I was going to die--I just worried about who was going to take care of my cat when I was gone.
It was much the same after I was raped. I just sucked it in--another thing on the pile. I knew that if I told my mother, she would have blamed me for the stupidity of putting myself in the situation. It would have been one of the things brought up when she wanted to scream about how stupid I was--or just something to say to hurt me when she was in a spiteful mood. So, it was best that I just handle it on my own.
Well, when I was triggered last summer....all this stored up gunk suddenly slammed into me, and I sank...FAST. Again I found myself without anyone to turn to, and for a scary couple weeks, I was suicidal. I did not really want to die...it is against everything that I believe in....but I just was so exhausted--soul deep, and convinced I had no purpose or worth. I sort of scared myself awake though when I realized I had just burned four curling-iron shaped stripes into my wrist. That was my lowest moment...but it served it's purpose in waking me up to realize that I was in trouble, and was going to die if I did not help myself. It was very scary and hard. My hair fell out in handfulls around that time (I have hair that goes a little past my butt--I now have all these baby whisps replacing the lost hair).
When school started fall term, I went straight to the counseling services that I pay for in my tuition. However after a few sessions with a woman who wore a tense smile and scared eyes when I spoke, I was diagnosed with PTSD, and then sent over to another therapist who was supposed to be a specialist in assault. I only ever spoke with her once. She told me that I have long-term issues, and they are a short-term clinic--and thus I had to go find help else where." Oh? You don't have insurance?". Basically, there is nowhere here that I can get treatment for PTSD without insurance. I cannot not even go to local services, because as a university student I am not eligible--the school is supposed to take care of me. It took everything I had to step into that office and ask for help--and they just rejected me like everyone else. She said I could not be in the support group they had, becuase my experiences are broader then the other women in it, and it would maybe stunt their progress to introduce me to the group. She smiled, and told me to be sure and contact them if I became suicidal again.
I tried to tell friends what was going on--but they backed away. My sister does not want to believe what is really wrong with me--lectures me on not organizing my life well, and needing to just go to bed at same time each night. See, this is becuase she really does love me, and is too scared to look at the real problem. I also don't want to risk triggering her and ruining the happy life with her husband that she has found--she was there too, and though not the target that I was--she saw it all happen.
So, I am going through it all alone again, as I did as a child. I crave to he held and hugged--touched, like you would not believe. I know I am starving inside for love. There is this huge emptiness inside of me, but for being empty-- it sure weighs a lot.I spend a lot of time huddled under a heavy pile of blankets, crying and rocking...comfot trick I have done since I was about 6. I have constant nightmares, and get very little sleep becuase of them. I wake up crying and shaking--my body reacting as if I was just attacked. I never feel safe. I pray all the time when I need someone to talk to--and also do my childhood trick of having imaginary conversations with people--generally people I would talk to if they would let me.
I keep telling myself I can get through it. Try to tell myself every day that I AM of value, a child of God, no matter what others have done to me or think. It's a constant fight. I know that if I slip...there is no one to catch me. I wish there was someone there. I kind of dug that for myself though....I tend to be the kind of person that gives way too much to people...and I love to give and make people happy....but in part I think I started doing it at a young age....so that people would keep me around and put up with me etc....and now that I have nothing to give? I realize I really don't have any friends. I don't even need someone to "fix" me...just be there...give me hugs, tell me they care. But when my eyes are puffy and tired...they just step back. I'm not fun to be around. I sometimes act like I am fine, just so they won't do that--I need to have some kind of social contact. The person I thought of as my best friend for ten years--he told me I needed to go out and make new friends. So basically....once again, " let someone else deal with her." I don't think I am in a position to even make that kind of emotional jump right now. I am so exhausted, and doing everything I can to put myself together. In order to get close to anyone and receive the love and support I need...I have to first tell them what I am going through and what my past is--and that always results in the person running anyways. It just seems like a lot of effort just to be rejected and triggered again.
I have kept myself busy this year. Too busy. I have been involved in show after show. I have found that I need something to focus on...too much time equals too much time to think and slide. The musical(i had lead) I did this last winter was good for me though---a very warm group of people. Early on in rehearsal, one of my cast mates, a very giving woman, hugged me for no reason. At this point, I had spent about 5 months pulling myself up from being suicidal without a single hug, and I almost burst right into tears for the sudden unexpected contact. It again has been a couple months since I have been hugged though. I think I in part have been doing show after show--becuase then I know that I am needed--that if I disapeared people would notice. Morbid, but true.
I know I need help--but it is not available. The main thing that has damaged me is the whole being alone thing--and so I keep triggering myself left and right when I realize that I am still alone. If that makes sense.
I want to be happy and whole. I think I am doing all that I can for myself...study up, try to love, and be kind to myself....but I have discovered that I need outside help if I am going to ever heal. It's scary. I need to get better so people will accept and love me....but I can't get better without people accepting and loving me. It's like telling a starving person that they cannot eat until they put on some weight.
::sigh:: I just don't no what to do, or where to go. Has anyone else managed to get through this alone? and healed? I just feel so isolated and lost.
Well, I guess this is a large enough mouthfull for now. I am so sorry if any of this upset anyone, or was not appropriate to discuss. Take care of yourselves, and God bless. Love, Delaney
This is what she posted about herself on another board:
Hello. I am new here...found this web page a day ago during a post-nightmare, late-night, web search. I am not quite sure what to say-- I am not exactly very accustomed to having anyone to talk to/share these things with--I just have several note books floating around my apartment with garble written in them.
Well, to start, my name is Delaney( sounds like Melanie with a D). I am 27, but have the face of a 19/20 year old, and am a college student still--Theatre and vocal performance(how the heck I will make a living off those is yet to be discovered ::smile: .
I have had a really rough nine months or so. It was about last August when the initial big trigger happened--and I have been struggling to keep my head above water so-to-speak, ever since.
A run down of my history(I hope this does not trigger anyone). During my childhood, starting at age 5, I was abused sexually, physically, emotionally, and neglected for many years. When I was eleven I almost died form a serious/painful medical condition that was left untreated for several months(cyst). I handled the knowledge that I was dying on my own ( no one owuld listen to me, got punched out when PE teacher called my mother), and started to pray to die when I could not cope with the pain anymore--was finally taken in when my mother came home and found me on the floor screaming with my eyes rolled back.
I was raped when I was 14. I guess that does not need much explaining.
I think what has damaged me the most, is not so much all the things I went through--but the withholding of love and support. No one ever told me it was not my fault, or that they loved me. No hugs...nothing. When I was nine and it came out that my step-father was molesting me(he was a cop), instead of protecting me, my mother used me as a shield. She worried what people would think of HER, and that it would ruin HER etc...so she told me a string of stuff along the lines of never telling anyone, that they would hate me, reject me blah blah...and of course I believed her, becuase that was the only reaction I had seen in people anyways. After a while I simply believed it did not matter what happened or was done to me....that I was not worth anything...so I just silently soaked everything in as it came. Thus when I was eleven and I knew I was dying( the pain was described by teh doctors later as being prolly much like having constant labor pains for a couple months), it did not occur to me that anyone should care that I was going to die--I just worried about who was going to take care of my cat when I was gone.
It was much the same after I was raped. I just sucked it in--another thing on the pile. I knew that if I told my mother, she would have blamed me for the stupidity of putting myself in the situation. It would have been one of the things brought up when she wanted to scream about how stupid I was--or just something to say to hurt me when she was in a spiteful mood. So, it was best that I just handle it on my own.
Well, when I was triggered last summer....all this stored up gunk suddenly slammed into me, and I sank...FAST. Again I found myself without anyone to turn to, and for a scary couple weeks, I was suicidal. I did not really want to die...it is against everything that I believe in....but I just was so exhausted--soul deep, and convinced I had no purpose or worth. I sort of scared myself awake though when I realized I had just burned four curling-iron shaped stripes into my wrist. That was my lowest moment...but it served it's purpose in waking me up to realize that I was in trouble, and was going to die if I did not help myself. It was very scary and hard. My hair fell out in handfulls around that time (I have hair that goes a little past my butt--I now have all these baby whisps replacing the lost hair).
When school started fall term, I went straight to the counseling services that I pay for in my tuition. However after a few sessions with a woman who wore a tense smile and scared eyes when I spoke, I was diagnosed with PTSD, and then sent over to another therapist who was supposed to be a specialist in assault. I only ever spoke with her once. She told me that I have long-term issues, and they are a short-term clinic--and thus I had to go find help else where." Oh? You don't have insurance?". Basically, there is nowhere here that I can get treatment for PTSD without insurance. I cannot not even go to local services, because as a university student I am not eligible--the school is supposed to take care of me. It took everything I had to step into that office and ask for help--and they just rejected me like everyone else. She said I could not be in the support group they had, becuase my experiences are broader then the other women in it, and it would maybe stunt their progress to introduce me to the group. She smiled, and told me to be sure and contact them if I became suicidal again.
I tried to tell friends what was going on--but they backed away. My sister does not want to believe what is really wrong with me--lectures me on not organizing my life well, and needing to just go to bed at same time each night. See, this is becuase she really does love me, and is too scared to look at the real problem. I also don't want to risk triggering her and ruining the happy life with her husband that she has found--she was there too, and though not the target that I was--she saw it all happen.
So, I am going through it all alone again, as I did as a child. I crave to he held and hugged--touched, like you would not believe. I know I am starving inside for love. There is this huge emptiness inside of me, but for being empty-- it sure weighs a lot.I spend a lot of time huddled under a heavy pile of blankets, crying and rocking...comfot trick I have done since I was about 6. I have constant nightmares, and get very little sleep becuase of them. I wake up crying and shaking--my body reacting as if I was just attacked. I never feel safe. I pray all the time when I need someone to talk to--and also do my childhood trick of having imaginary conversations with people--generally people I would talk to if they would let me.
I keep telling myself I can get through it. Try to tell myself every day that I AM of value, a child of God, no matter what others have done to me or think. It's a constant fight. I know that if I slip...there is no one to catch me. I wish there was someone there. I kind of dug that for myself though....I tend to be the kind of person that gives way too much to people...and I love to give and make people happy....but in part I think I started doing it at a young age....so that people would keep me around and put up with me etc....and now that I have nothing to give? I realize I really don't have any friends. I don't even need someone to "fix" me...just be there...give me hugs, tell me they care. But when my eyes are puffy and tired...they just step back. I'm not fun to be around. I sometimes act like I am fine, just so they won't do that--I need to have some kind of social contact. The person I thought of as my best friend for ten years--he told me I needed to go out and make new friends. So basically....once again, " let someone else deal with her." I don't think I am in a position to even make that kind of emotional jump right now. I am so exhausted, and doing everything I can to put myself together. In order to get close to anyone and receive the love and support I need...I have to first tell them what I am going through and what my past is--and that always results in the person running anyways. It just seems like a lot of effort just to be rejected and triggered again.
I have kept myself busy this year. Too busy. I have been involved in show after show. I have found that I need something to focus on...too much time equals too much time to think and slide. The musical(i had lead) I did this last winter was good for me though---a very warm group of people. Early on in rehearsal, one of my cast mates, a very giving woman, hugged me for no reason. At this point, I had spent about 5 months pulling myself up from being suicidal without a single hug, and I almost burst right into tears for the sudden unexpected contact. It again has been a couple months since I have been hugged though. I think I in part have been doing show after show--becuase then I know that I am needed--that if I disapeared people would notice. Morbid, but true.
I know I need help--but it is not available. The main thing that has damaged me is the whole being alone thing--and so I keep triggering myself left and right when I realize that I am still alone. If that makes sense.
I want to be happy and whole. I think I am doing all that I can for myself...study up, try to love, and be kind to myself....but I have discovered that I need outside help if I am going to ever heal. It's scary. I need to get better so people will accept and love me....but I can't get better without people accepting and loving me. It's like telling a starving person that they cannot eat until they put on some weight.
::sigh:: I just don't no what to do, or where to go. Has anyone else managed to get through this alone? and healed? I just feel so isolated and lost.
Well, I guess this is a large enough mouthfull for now. I am so sorry if any of this upset anyone, or was not appropriate to discuss. Take care of yourselves, and God bless. Love, Delaney
Monday, September 17, 2007
Updated Media Contacts
Media Assault
I'm back with the contact information for the other magazines I mentioned here. They are most likely already following the story - or at least discussing it in the break room during coffee breaks! Who isn't? You can't miss it, whether you're a Kimkins member, low carb dieter, or just someone who uses the internet to send emails to family and friends - you've probably heard about the Kimkins scandal. The fact that its so widespread is precisely why we need to keep up all of our efforts to get this stopped - to get HEIDI DIAZ stopped, before something truly tragic happens.
As I said before, I think we should write to Woman's World's competitor magazines and let them know that we'd like to see them do a story or editorial on the Kimkins diet scandal, so that more innocent people will be saved from this and so that Woman's World will feel the pressure to do what's right - issue a strong retraction of their previous support of this fraudulent diet. When you contact them, just ask them to do a Google search on Kimkins, or provide them the link to a few of the immensely thorough and high ranking anti-Kimkins blogs - there's many of them!
These are the magazines that came to mind, but please comment and let me know if you think of others:
Fitness Magazine, Lee Slattery, Publisher, Lee.Slattery@meredith.com
Self, contact form on site: Contact Us
Shape, contact form on site: Contact Us
Health, contact form on site: http://www.health.com/health/talk/email
Prevention, Prevention@Rodale.com , or contact form on site: Contact Us
I wanted to contact Body and Soul, which is Martha Stewart's magazine, since they do deal with health and diet concerns, but their website is SO slow, and there was no clear contact to get directly to the editor. So if anyone has a subscription and can find a better direct contact, please let me know.
Consumer Reports Consumer Web Watch
I don't think this one has been mentioned before - its from Consumer Reports, which is of course a very trusted and reputable consumer protection organization. They have a web component for fraud and complaints involving online businesses, its called ConsumerWebWatch.org, and I definitely think that EVERYBODY should break down their doors filing complaints! Maybe Consumer Reports will do an article on this!
Petition for Kimkins Investigation
Have you signed the Petition yet? It's not too late! 394 and growing! Will we hit 500? Better yet, will we hit 40,000? We should, since that's the reported number of alleged Kimkins clients!
I'm back with the contact information for the other magazines I mentioned here. They are most likely already following the story - or at least discussing it in the break room during coffee breaks! Who isn't? You can't miss it, whether you're a Kimkins member, low carb dieter, or just someone who uses the internet to send emails to family and friends - you've probably heard about the Kimkins scandal. The fact that its so widespread is precisely why we need to keep up all of our efforts to get this stopped - to get HEIDI DIAZ stopped, before something truly tragic happens.
As I said before, I think we should write to Woman's World's competitor magazines and let them know that we'd like to see them do a story or editorial on the Kimkins diet scandal, so that more innocent people will be saved from this and so that Woman's World will feel the pressure to do what's right - issue a strong retraction of their previous support of this fraudulent diet. When you contact them, just ask them to do a Google search on Kimkins, or provide them the link to a few of the immensely thorough and high ranking anti-Kimkins blogs - there's many of them!
These are the magazines that came to mind, but please comment and let me know if you think of others:
Fitness Magazine, Lee Slattery, Publisher, Lee.Slattery@meredith.com
Self, contact form on site: Contact Us
Shape, contact form on site: Contact Us
Health, contact form on site: http://www.health.com/health/talk/email
Prevention, Prevention@Rodale.com , or contact form on site: Contact Us
I wanted to contact Body and Soul, which is Martha Stewart's magazine, since they do deal with health and diet concerns, but their website is SO slow, and there was no clear contact to get directly to the editor. So if anyone has a subscription and can find a better direct contact, please let me know.
Consumer Reports Consumer Web Watch
I don't think this one has been mentioned before - its from Consumer Reports, which is of course a very trusted and reputable consumer protection organization. They have a web component for fraud and complaints involving online businesses, its called ConsumerWebWatch.org, and I definitely think that EVERYBODY should break down their doors filing complaints! Maybe Consumer Reports will do an article on this!
Petition for Kimkins Investigation
Have you signed the Petition yet? It's not too late! 394 and growing! Will we hit 500? Better yet, will we hit 40,000? We should, since that's the reported number of alleged Kimkins clients!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
If Woman's World won't come to the mountain...
...we will bring the mountain to Woman's World! I was thinking, if Woman's World refuses to issue an official statement or retraction of their Kimkins story, and admit that they did not research the diet, did not meet with Heidi Diaz in person, and that they themselves were scammed - we should take the story to their competitors. Think about it, I'm sure their competitors would love to see them go down in flames over this story - that's millions of dollars in reader and advertising sales that the OTHER magazines could swipe because Woman's World is proving themselves to be without ethics, promoting not only unhealthy but fraudulent diets without any fact checking.
I don't know if the other magazines are even following the story right now, but it's worth a shot to bring it to their attention! I suggest we all send letters to the following health and fitness magazines:
Fitness
Self
Shape
Health
Body and Soul
Prevention
These are all that come to mind immediately, but I'm sure there are more! Give me your thoughts as I compile the list.
Matter of fact, why not cover ALL of the top women's magazines, since this is topic that those magazines do report on. Even Redbook and Glamour dedicate sections to diet and health - I'm sure they would appreciate an opportunity to enlighten their readers on this scandal and warn them about it.
We should also send them the list of blogs and websites so they can follow along with the story. Make ALL of the magazine industry aware of this story, and ask them what would they do if they suddenly had 1,000,000 extra readers?
We've been fair with WW and given them time to step forward, admit their mistake, and help make this right. They obviously don't care because they've already got everyone's $1.99, what happens to you AFTER you follow their dangerous suggestions based on a fraudulent liar - well, that's YOUR problem!
I'll start collecting contact information for all of the magazines I can think of, and follow up with that information soon. If you have anything to add, please feel free to leave it here!
BTW, there are a few important Kimkins domain names up for auction, like nofasterdiet.com, mykimkins.com, kimmerwear.com - a smart competitor would do well to snatch these up and redirect them to their own site! Hurry and get them before Heidi does! We need every possible sign pointing in the RIGHT direction, and not leading to KimkinsHell. It would be great if some poor, unsuspecting dieter was trying to go to Kimkins, and ended up at Atkins, Weight Watchers, or ANYWHERE else but there!
I also wanted to mention that you don't have to be a Kimkins member, or former member, to sign the petition! ANYONE and EVERYONE can sign to show that they care and want this dangerous diet plan to be STOPPED. It doesn't matter that you've never done the diet yourself, sign the petition to help stop her before someone you know is harmed or scammed by her. It could be your mother, your sister, your own child - by signing this petition, you help guarantee that this comes to a quick end.
Show your support, sign the petition TODAY! We are growing! Thank you to all who have participated in this very important mission!
http://www.petitiononline.com/kimkins/petition.html
I don't know if the other magazines are even following the story right now, but it's worth a shot to bring it to their attention! I suggest we all send letters to the following health and fitness magazines:
Fitness
Self
Shape
Health
Body and Soul
Prevention
These are all that come to mind immediately, but I'm sure there are more! Give me your thoughts as I compile the list.
Matter of fact, why not cover ALL of the top women's magazines, since this is topic that those magazines do report on. Even Redbook and Glamour dedicate sections to diet and health - I'm sure they would appreciate an opportunity to enlighten their readers on this scandal and warn them about it.
We should also send them the list of blogs and websites so they can follow along with the story. Make ALL of the magazine industry aware of this story, and ask them what would they do if they suddenly had 1,000,000 extra readers?
We've been fair with WW and given them time to step forward, admit their mistake, and help make this right. They obviously don't care because they've already got everyone's $1.99, what happens to you AFTER you follow their dangerous suggestions based on a fraudulent liar - well, that's YOUR problem!
I'll start collecting contact information for all of the magazines I can think of, and follow up with that information soon. If you have anything to add, please feel free to leave it here!
BTW, there are a few important Kimkins domain names up for auction, like nofasterdiet.com, mykimkins.com, kimmerwear.com - a smart competitor would do well to snatch these up and redirect them to their own site! Hurry and get them before Heidi does! We need every possible sign pointing in the RIGHT direction, and not leading to KimkinsHell. It would be great if some poor, unsuspecting dieter was trying to go to Kimkins, and ended up at Atkins, Weight Watchers, or ANYWHERE else but there!
I also wanted to mention that you don't have to be a Kimkins member, or former member, to sign the petition! ANYONE and EVERYONE can sign to show that they care and want this dangerous diet plan to be STOPPED. It doesn't matter that you've never done the diet yourself, sign the petition to help stop her before someone you know is harmed or scammed by her. It could be your mother, your sister, your own child - by signing this petition, you help guarantee that this comes to a quick end.
Show your support, sign the petition TODAY! We are growing! Thank you to all who have participated in this very important mission!
http://www.petitiononline.com/kimkins/petition.html
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